There is little we control in life, apart from our attitude. We don't control other people, the weather or pets (like my little guinea pig Wendy. She can be feistier than you think!) among many other things.
I bet you can list several events in your life where you've been treated unfairly, rejected, disappointed and so on. Perhaps your partner left you, you lost your job or you grew up in a disadvantaged environment?
No matter what happened, what we always control is what we tell ourselves: our own personal story. We create the story, we repeat the story and we live the story.
If your partner left you, you could create a story of how you failed to maintain a relationship, how it was your fault, and that you will never meet anyone again.
Alternatively, you can tell yourself that it was meant to happen, that there is a better suited person in store for you and that you now have the space to allow that person into your life.
Lost your job? Here's one option of what to tell yourself: I am not qualified enough. I won't make it through financially. I should never have accepted the position and wasted my time.
Another optional story is: I did my best, I tried and learned from my mistakes. I will stay in faith, and I will be provided for. I lost the job so that I could move on in my life with the necessary experience.
Which option do you think will serve you best?
Finally, growing up in a toxic environment with low expectations, abuse, crime, poverty and so on, could either leave you with a stamp that you are no good, that you are doomed for life. Or you can turn it around and say: 'Those experiences made me stronger. They taught me the importance of standing up for myself, and I will be the person who breaks the pattern.'
I didn't choose to go through depression or controlled what others said to me, including name calling and swear words. But I can control the story and I decided that there's a reason that I went through those challenges: so that I could understand and help others. It was all in the plan God has for me.
Without the experiences, however tough, I wouldn't be where I am today. I am grateful that I overcame the above challenges, because they made me stronger, wiser and more persistent than ever before!
What has happened, is happening and will happen is your story. How will you tell it?