Talking to my husband this Sunday morning snugging in bed, I realised that coming home should be like charging your batteries, not only physically but emotionally and spiritually as well. There are 3 things I try to remember to say to my husband every day:
- I love you.
- I am proud of you.
- You are the best.
The first phrase is about him not having to pretend, that I love him as he is, for who he is. The second sentence has to do with me being proud of his accomplishments (for himself) and achievements (for the outside world).
Finally I want him to know that he inspires me every day, and that in many ways I look up to him.
Similarly, he supports me. When I have doubts, he reassures me that things will be ok. If I have had a tough experience, he takes time off to pray together. He reminds me everyday that I am beautiful and smart, and feels proud to call me his wife.
Right now I feel I am getting stronger, more confident and laugh more each day. I hope that our marriage stays like that, because I truly believe that is how is should be: a battery charger that keeps refilling you with energy so you stay 100% (and beyond!).
If you are looking for love, my hope is that you find someone who is truly proud of being with you, who supports you in your goals (even if they are widely different to his/hers) and who reinforces you with energy and smiles.
Some relationships work the opposite way, they take energy from the battery. Instead of strengthening words, there is criticism, instead of laughter there is nagging and frustration.
Someone mentioned that this is simply the 'honeymoon' period (me and Josh got married last year). That could be true. However, I believe that because both me and my husband have gone through tough times in life including depression and meltdowns, it has made us stronger, and we have learned the importance of words and positive energy. What I also have learned is that strengthening words don't come automatically, they are a choice.